I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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