my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
