So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
