Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
