Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
