is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
