It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
