Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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