i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize