and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
