Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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