I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
