you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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