I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
