Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
