If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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