She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize