Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
