You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
