can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
