We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
