Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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