i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She bit a glass in half.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
