I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
