i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
