i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
