I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
