So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize