My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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