If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
