we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
