I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
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