Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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