I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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