Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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