I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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