U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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