garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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