The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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