never play flip cup with pint glasses
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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