U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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