Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
