we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize