Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
