Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
MIDGETS
????
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
