You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
