I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
should my penis look like a turkey
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize