come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
