its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
