I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
