We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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