I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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