So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
