The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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