Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
