he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
did i just pee glitter
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