Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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