...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize