And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
