this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
