How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
