talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
