I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They have beer where we have blood.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
