They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My breasts were aching with rage.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
