I swear she didn't look like that last week.
are you so shy because you have an std?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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